I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
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