I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and she was petting her beer can
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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