Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
