id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
