guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
