woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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