worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
