Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
