she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
