***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
