Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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