There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
