That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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