Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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