I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
