I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
