i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize