Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
