So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
porn star boner night. come get it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
