Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
