Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
