sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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