eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
