It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
