I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize