dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
