The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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