I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have so many feelings about this burrito
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss