I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
