Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show

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(075): View more from

thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

How's Vegas?

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss

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