I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.