literally had 100 drinks last night.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
