Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop

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(954): so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop http://tfl.nu/k9k3

Replies (11) Good night (824) Bad night (3240)
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(817): View more from Texas

My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.

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(817): My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday. http://tfl.nu/n9me

Replies (20) Good night (1093) Bad night (2910)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue

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(812): Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue http://tfl.nu/ir9h

Replies (93) Good night (4777) Bad night (1237)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

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(651): Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you. http://tfl.nu/jbfy

Replies (28) Good night (9193) Bad night (1509)
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(650): View more from California

I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.

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(650): I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it. http://tfl.nu/8v3x

Replies (5) Good night (4214) Bad night (1141)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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(778): Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight? http://tfl.nu/8s8e

Replies (7) Good night (4292) Bad night (990)
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(415): View more from California

was it good sex?

(510): View more from California

i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was

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(415): was it good sex? (510): i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was http://tfl.nu/o836

Replies (13) Good night (4276) Bad night (968)
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(786): View more from Florida

And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.

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(786): And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xlfm

Replies (3) Good night (3243) Bad night (1025)
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(360): View more from Washington

Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?

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(360): Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/1n7v

Replies (14) Good night (4110) Bad night (895)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine

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(314): Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine http://tfl.nu/lktn

Replies (7) Good night (3001) Bad night (1424)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.

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(519): You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month. http://tfl.nu/3065

Replies (9) Good night (2187) Bad night (778)
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(863): View more from Florida

our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane

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(863): our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane http://tfl.nu/5abz

Replies (18) Good night (1609) Bad night (765)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.

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(520): Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/speg

Replies (11) Good night (1212) Bad night (593)
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(503): View more from Oregon

And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

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(503): And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/m69e

Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (411)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!

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(720): Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?! http://tfl.nu/s1bh

Replies (4) Good night (843) Bad night (363)

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