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• (607): View more from New York

  I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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• (954): View more from Florida

  When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well said.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  She is totally STD

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (310): View more from California

  OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me

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• (806): View more from Texas

  I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?

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