I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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