there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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