16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
