he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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