those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
