How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize