finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We are all done wearing pants today
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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