i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
