his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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