8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
