Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
