If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I supernannyed him into submission
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
