She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize