Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
