hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize