guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
