Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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