Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
