i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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