I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
