You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
