I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
