drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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