I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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