Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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