it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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