I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
