He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize