Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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