I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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