brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
