it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
