I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
