Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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