it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
