I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
