My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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