So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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