Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
