Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
