found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
